viewfinder intoxication.

unable to breathe.
incapable of functioning.
soon to break, constant to ache.

spinning and breathing you in
through feet and bodies of torture.

waves of hands and waves in my stomach.

i am a glutton for punishment;
stubborn with hope.

throwing the towel is not an option.

i've known this ever since.
the confirmation lies in the reality before me.
if only i could breathe past tonight.

i will, if only to continue this cycle.

redemption.

wow.

i love you all. every single one of you.

thank you.

i've got the greatest view from here.

see you at the show(s).

why must you burn my eyes, yet never see a word of this?

fuck you.

within hours, i'm going to show a small part of the world what i'm made of.
within hours, i'm going to let myself bleed in colours of music.
within hours, i'm going to do my best.

instead, i'm unable to breathe.
i'm dizzy. i'm gasping for air.
i'm dying again. i've lost count how many times i have done so.

fuck you for never giving a shit. fuck me for caring.
i won't let you fuck this up for me. not today.




i don't believe in fairy tales anymore. it's just a market to persuade you to buy, buy, buy, until you go broke. just like santa claus. just like the easter bunny. symbols of morals; symbols of bullshit.

fuckfuckfuckfuck

expletives and explanations have never been so excruciating.
confusion and concerns have clouded my judgment.

hearts floating, hearts sinking.
stomachs buzzing, lungs crashing.

i ache, because you're not here.
i feel, because you are.

this turbulent turmoil is a tsunami of thought.
if only i knew when the clouds would clear.

four days. final hours.
everything's packaged except for my sanity.

dear karma.

you've gone way too far.
cut it out.
and by "it", i mean my insides.


signed, eternally yours.

this city never sleeps, but i still feel like i'm in the dark.

an adjustment to a town which hopes to pin me to a billboard.
i won't let it, though.

a warm welcome to a cruel world.
a laugh i haven't bubbled in months.
thank you.

in a few hours, i will be suspended in time.

i'm finding difficulty in breathing.
in fact, i feel sick.




this will be good for me.
my voice is gone in more ways than one.
may the course be appropriate, from here on out.

there will be music, and there will be recorded music.

for those of you coming to the shows, there will be a limited pressing of an EP that will be sold at the shows. if i can make it on time, each show will have a different pressing. If you can't make it, don't worry. the music will be released on itunes on a later date (or by your friends, whichever comes first).

no name yet. no track listing confirmed. anyone who says otherwise is a liar.


there will also be booty shorts.


just kidding.


thank you for caring. as long as you do, i will keep making it up to you.

there is no grey.

there is only black and white.
light and dark.
sanity and insanity.

the in-betweens, the grey areas, the uncertainties of anything besides fifty-fifty,
these are the fuzzy feelings in my stomach.

love or hate. the telescope scopes areas of me that i have forgotten existed.
i remember to live, because if i do not someone else will do the reporting for me.
calamity in the dyslexia of calm.
notes bubbling up through my veins to let you know the clock is ticking.

i'm working on it. i'm working on you. i'm doing my best.
i hope to knock you off of your ass.
see you in a few.














as for you, i lied. i can't do it. i'm sorry that i can't let go as you can.

01101001
01101110011001010110010101100100
01111001011011110111010100101110





011100110110111101110010011100100111100100101110
i did try, though.