masochistic voyeur.

take the rope to my heart and fall.
you may just be the last before you see the black tangled heart fall.

i will read every inch of your memory until it no longer causes me to shake, or crumble, or disintegrate my bones.

bones. that's all i am lately. i never knew how badly recycled words could hurt. i guess they never meant anything when spat towards me. now i know what they all really meant.

at least i am angry now. livid. violent. thanks for pushing me out of the first phase.

i did fuck this up, after all. what's my problem, anyway?

an exchange of hearts. i was never refunded.

fault is a word that trickles down my jawline in crimson.
i bleed, because i do not know any better.
i work, because it's the only thing i know how to do.

i never knew how to love (you properly). i thought i did.
i did what i thought was best.

it was never about me, despite the eyes all over this.

cross those ts, dot my cries. i dab them in the shirt you forgot about.
left in the underground. left it alone with the trash you always managed to see through.

these bones crawl. these bones are brittle.
healing is for the willing.

you never returned me.
i'm that gift you lost the receipt for.

forget me, and forget this. i wish to slip away the same way that it is believed i have handled this well.

facades are easy when ignorant. i have seen the line, and it blinds me in red and green.

trickle down my neck, the thick garnet following the current of this stain.

never see me again. i rather you think i never really wanted it.

may he keep you safe. may i remain in this funnel cloud without escape.
for if he ever slices a strand from your brow, i will tear him to unrecognizable shreds.

you have always been stronger, and i have always admired that.
my telescope eyes seek, while you never blink in my direction.






never again.

this constitutes a resolute.

I regret.
I've regressed.
I repent.

... but will I ever return?